Always in the mood for you.
my parents failed to raise me to become an olympian, i’m so disappointed in them
clearly as a teenager i’m not mature enough to drink, smoke, drive or have sex but i am obviously prepared to decide on the career i want to be in for the rest of my life
cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
it sucks being the ugly quiet rude sarcastic emotionally unstable friend with the attention span of a goldfish
i’ve never read something so accurate